Posts Tagged humor
Because Perl is Too Straightforward…
Posted by Andrew Flanagan in Geekiness, Somewhat Random on March 20, 2009
…someone created Perligata.
Here’s an example:
#! /usr/local/bin/perl -w use Lingua::Romana::Perligata; maximum inquementum tum biguttam egresso scribe. meo maximo vestibulo perlegamentum da. da duo tum maximum conscribementa meis listis. dum listis decapitamentum damentum nexto fac sic nextum tum novumversum scribe egresso. lista sic hoc recidementum nextum cis vannementa da listis. cis. |
is equivalent to:
#! /usr/local/bin/perl -w print STDOUT 'maximum:'; my $maxim = <STDIN>; my (@list) = (2..$maxim); while ($next = shift @list) { print STDOUT $next, "\n"; @list = grep {$_ % $next} @list; } |
Tag. I’m it.
Posted by Andrew Flanagan in Geekiness, Somewhat Random on May 16, 2008
I normally do not participate in this sort of thing. But this one is a little bit more interesting and I have precious little information about myself on this blog. So when my lil’ sister Alison “tagged” me to write up 7 random things about me, I’ve decided I’ll actually do it. I’ve made it slightly more interesting (scary?) by making them things that I’d not terribly proud of about myself.
7 Random Things About Me That I Don’t Normally Admit
1. I’m red/green colorblind. My wife (and my oldest kid) are incredibly color oriented. I’ve wondered many times if my wife has tetrachromacy. This random fact is one that is used to the infinite amusement of family and friends as in “Hey, what color does the carpet look like? What about the blinds? Wow! That’s weird!”. Please stop — thank you.
2. I’m a terrible cook. This has not stopped me from trying. I’d like to take this time to apologize to my family especially and the close friends that I have caused to suffer. I assure you, my intent is delicious food.
3. I have a dream… that one day I will be an author. I don’t feel particularly gifted nor do I have anything particular interesting to share with the world but I think that it would be fun to work from home all the time, wake up late, and write off trips to exotic places as business expenses. I’ve also considered writing technical books like those in the O’Reilly series. Most of the authors write terrible drivel so my title would fit nicely. (By the way, I like O’Reilly better than any other tech-book publisher — I just think most of the authors are better coders than writers).
4. I like ABBA (the dance/pop group). I’m sorry Sarah.
5. On a related note, I have taught my oldest son to dance. I’m sorry Patrick. Very sorry.
6. I think that binary is really cool. I fantasize that I have an audience who cares about me explaining it to them. In fact, I regularly “test the waters” by attempting to explain base n number systems to those around me. This explains why I rarely get party invitations.
7. Speaking of numbers, I like them a lot and try to memorize them. I still know one of my good friend’s Social Security Numbers (Sam, you should have NEVER let me get near your wallet) and I can assure you that the largest size of a signed, 32-bit integer is 2,147,483,647. They’re fun. I’m worse with numbers and letters together (as in license plates) but I’m trying to hone my skills (my brother said he knew/heard of someone who could keep a queue of 7 or so in his head while driving — I’m not there yet, but I practice regularly.)
Supposedly I should “tag” others but I don’t like the idea — people shouldn’t be forced to share. If you’re in some way influenced to share about yourself by reading this post, just let me know and I’ll link to it. There — that’s nicer.
Am I Missing Something?
Posted by Andrew Flanagan in Actual Events on February 7, 2008
You’ve seen Ron Paul’s support. Now there’s a fund-raising “money bomb” for the Republican Party (which allows you to donate to McCain, Romney, or Huckabee). It’s at http://www.february7.org/. Here’s the dazzling results as of 6:44am PST:
Microsoft’s Dark Plan
Posted by Andrew Flanagan in Geekiness on February 7, 2008
I rarely quote things verbatim from elsewhere on the Internet but I found a comment in one of this morning’s Slashdot posts quite amusing…
Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. To my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: ‘Do not worry, it is unharmed.’ After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: ‘Take a close look at it.’ To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:
4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746F 2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F206272696E67207468656D20 616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062696E64207468656D
‘I cannot read the fiery letters,’ I said.
‘No,’ he said, ‘but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:’
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
From Slashdot (unfortunately by an Anonymous Coward so I can’t credit the individual)
Indwelling Grace
Posted by Andrew Flanagan in Actual Events, Somewhat Random on January 12, 2008
Jonathan Edward (the famous preacher) had a sister that was apparently quite a difficult woman. A potential suitor came calling one day and had apparently not heard of her nature. Edward’s father attempted to talk him out of the idea. The suitor replied that he thought that she had received the grace of God so what difficulty would there be? The father’s reply:
“The grace of God will dwell where you or I cannot!”
I picked this up from Rev. Rayburn’s sermon on January 6, 2008. It’s not in print yet but should be available on www.faithtacoma.org before too long.
Fight the law, or let the law win?
Posted by Andrew Flanagan in Actual Events, Ranting & Ravings on January 7, 2008
I’m not a big fan of government (see Ron Paul posts below). I’m also sick and tired of the police state. Today on my way to work I was pulled over for using the HOV lane. Foolishly, instead of letting the officer write the ticket and getting it dismissed (it was before 5:00am and the HOV lane was open to all traffic) I pointed it out. He paused, looked annoyed and told me that I was speeding at 72 miles per hour ALSO. This is a little silly because I always cruise at 68-69. Yes, it’s speeding and still technically ticketable but I’ve found that it’s the speed that everyone cruises on that stretch of road. I’m very consistent with my speed and always use cruise control. If he had given me a ticket for 68 or 69 I would have grumblingly accepted it.
Anyway, I told the officer this but he ignored me and told me to “have a good night”. As I tried to decide whether I should tell him it’s morning or hand him a Ron Paul flyer (I had a bunch on the front seat) I realized that he had already scurried back to his car. A little vexed, I continued to drive to work. I was annoyed but figured I’d live with it.
Upon arriving at work, I realized that the ticket I had received said that I had committed a traffic offense on “N/B I-5 at S. 200th”. This is plain silliness. I never take I-5 to work (I use the Valley Highway and then take I-405 around Seattle). He had neatly signed the area that read “I certify under penalty of perjury under the laws of the state of Washington that I have issued this on the date and at the location above.”. Ironically, the form was automated (actually printed in his car) and I think the only fields that he had to manually enter are the citations themselves and the location. My only conclusion is that the officer was delusional. Everything fits.
I think I’ll take a softer approach at the hearing but since I clearly didn’t speed on I-5 on January 7 at 4:49am I think I have a good case. We’ll see what the courts say.
Update: By the way, because I know I’m “near the edge” on the speeding thing, I think I’m going to make the assumption that the new, super-secret, real speed limit of the Valley Highway and I-405 is 65 instead of 70. I don’t relish more run-ins. These guys have tasers and they’re not afraid to use ’em!
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