Illusory Follies

Okay — I know I just posted an entry about 5 minutes ago, but this is important for anyone reading this (i.e. no one):
This is my ideal cellphone:

• PDA (Palm seems the best — no Windows Mobile junk for me)
• QWERTY keyboard (or Dvorak! — but wait — no one uses that…)
• Broadband-like speed
• Decent actual phone features
• Some realistic amount of storage (I can live with SD cards)
• A good friggin provider that actually covers:
• 1. My house
• 2. My work (where, incidentally I can’t even bring my cellphone)
• 3. The roads between the aforementioned locations
• 4. Everywhere else I will ever go (except maybe backpacking locations where I don’t want to be reached anyway)

Oh, and I think it’s fair that I pay $5-10/month for this.

Any takers? Hey, wait! Come back! I’m serious!